I tried so hard to remember the night before. What had I done? What did I get myself into? And why in the Sam Hell was this big Mexican man chasing me down Main Street? “Ay! Ay! Que Pasa? Slow down mi amigo, I aint gonna hurtchya!” You could almost hear the smile swipe across the big mans face. Three weeks ago my best friend, Ben Martinez, had convinced me that visiting a foreign country wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. “C’mon Jake. Hot chicks, hot weather. You’ll have a blast man.” This morning however, waking with a half empty bottle of Nyquil at my half-naked side in some broads’ basement made me realize that Ben had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Finally the smell of the burley Mexican had been replaced by the spicy cent of Mexican culture. I slid into the corner market reaching into my pocket for my favorite brown leather wallet, which surprisingly enough was just as missing as my recollection of last night. Oh man, I’m going to be in so much shit. The thought whistled back and forth through my head, until I finally came to the conclusion that this trip couldn’t get much worse. I slipped an energy bar into my pocket, and slid down the convenience aisle. I tried to look as if I were interested in purchasing something, when my concentration was interrupted by the smell of sweet perfume. “Hola papi” chuckled a tall Latino girl. She wore short jean shorts that kind of rippled at the end. Her tight burgundy tank-top revealed curves that any man would dream of. And finally, her golden brown hair swayed just below her breasts. “Long night, eh?” Her seductive eyes lead me to the smirk on her face that was just as warm as her breath that spilled across my neck. Another laugh escaped her lips as her fingers grazed across my lower back. I could only stammer out some, “uh’s” and “dur’s” before the thought crossed my mind that maybe; just maybe, I should ask her what I did last night. * * * * * * * * * *
“Attention all passengers, we have just touched down on the landing strip. Please remain seated until signaled. Thank you for flying Northwest, and enjoy your stay in Acapulco, Mexico!” The intercom continued on in eight more unfamiliar languages as I stared out the window. Acapulco, Mexico. Never in a million years did I think I would end up here. Ben sure did now how to work me over. It’s been weeks, even months, since I took a day off of work. Meeting, after meeting, after meeting. Maybe he was right. Maybe I did just need some time to myself, time with other people. I was standing in front of the luggage claim when I saw Ben. “Hey, hey, hey! My brother!” He draped his sweaty arms around me, and gave me what seemed to be a bear hug. Man had he changed since I last seen him. His business type appearance had been easily replaced by cut up khaki’s, shaggy hair, and a raunchy, intolerable smell. Ben has been my best friend since grade school, and even if he reeked of garbage, Coors, and sweat, I was still happy to see him. “Whew!” I held my nose and jumped back. “What were you crawling in, a sewer?” Ben pinched the corner of his shirt and gave it a big whiff. He shrugged his shoulders as if to prove the smell doesn’t bother him anymore. “More like a pile of trash, actually.” He laughed. “Oh that’s right, you’re a garbage man now, eh?” “I prefer the head concierge of waste.” He tilted his head up in thought. I just laughed at him, “You know that makes absolutely no sense, right?” “It may not make sense, but it sure as hell pays the bills.” He made a point. Ben was a great worker at the firm. I had never seen a law student with his stamina and unique skill. Everyday he would out-shine the lawyers. It really made me wonder why Ben left in the first place. We walked out of the airport into a huge musk of hot air. Acapulco had to be the most interesting place I had ever been. Down the streets set store of store of what seemed to be the same thing. People stood on corners in fancy outfits, dancing for a days pay. The market was roaring with costumers. Families tumbled out of the stores with saccharine fruits, vegetables, and what looked like the best tasting meat around. The neighborhood seemed to change as we reached Ben’s apartment complex. There was less noise, and not so much a sense of happiness but a sense of misfortune. * * * * * * * * * *
“This is it!” he said, “Home sweet home!” My luggage was thrown on the couch where I took recognition of the pillow and blanket that he had laid out for me. The place was literally disgusting. Empty beer cans were scattered throughout the living room, empty potato chip bags were on the coffee table. Well, the coffee table was more like a piece of plywood resting on two empty cartons. He sure did know how to improvise. “Why’d you do it man?” I asked. “You mean leave?” “Yeah, I mean no offence; this is a great place and everything. Don’t you miss New York though? I mean seriously, you had the best pad on the north. I would have killed to be you.” He stopped for a second, reminiscing about the past, “It wasn’t right man. The stress. The work. Always on the go. You never had time for yourself. Time to relax and take in the deep breath. To just…enjoy the view.” “…The view?” I laughed looking around his shack of an apartment, “and what view exactly are you going to look at around here?” He scratched his head, reached for a beer and flopped on the coach, “Don’t be jealous man.” He smirked behind his cold beer. We sat and talked for another hour. It’s crazy how much someone can change due to his or her environment. He was right though; I could almost see the freedom in his eyes. He used to be so stressed out, so worried about impressing other people. He asked about the old job and kind of scowled whenever I said anything positive. “What’s your deal man? What did they ever do to you?” I asked rather irritated. He just smiled, stood up and said, “The same thing those bastards are doing to you.” He walked into the kitchen and or living room leaving me on the couch. What did he mean? The same thing they’re doing to me? They aren’t doing anything but providing me with the best opportunities. He must be drunk already. A flying sombrero, coming straight for my head, interrupted my thought. Ben laughed, “You ready to go party, or what?” Laughing, we headed out the door and down the main strip heading straight towards a place he called, “LA FIESTAAAAA!” Literally. Every time he said it, he seemed compelled to scream it…right…in…my…ear. * * * * * * * * * * “Here we are man! LA FIESTAAAA-ow! Why the hell did you hit me?” He looked at me as if he was confused. “Shut up.” I laughed. I started walking into the run down shack that Ben, for some reason, couldn’t stop talking about since I arrived. It looked like it had been robbed, shot down, or at one point, was probably used as a crack house. The shutters on the top hung on only by a few nuts and bolts. The ‘E’ in the sign was blinking rapidly, and a giant sombrero hung diligently off the corner of the restaurant. “Holy shit.” The words slipped out of my mouth. They were right; you really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. The bar sat to my left. Bottles of liquor aligned the wall, and almost every stool was in use. The bartender was a big Mexican who mildly resembled Mr. Clean in an odd way. In the middle there were a bunch of tables. All the way to the back was a dance floor right in front of a stage. A jukebox sat to the left of a stage, and a lotto machine to the right. The restaurant went further back than I thought it would. Then I turned my head, 3 nice pool tables sat parallel to one another, all of them in use. It reeked of beef tacos and cigarette smoke, but I wasn’t complaining. “Hey, my brother!” A sweaty muscular man grabbed Ben by the shoulders and hugged him. Alcohol had leaked through his skin and it was obvious that he was inebriated. “Jose! This is my ol’ buddy Jake. Jake, Jose.” Jake introduced us. The greasy looking man extended his arm for a shake, “Ay, this your first time here, boy? Hah! Are you in for a ride?” I shook his hand and we all took a sit at a round wooden table near the pool area. Jose went around the bar and pointed everyone out. “That over there is Carlos.” He waved to the bartender. “He’s just getting trained today. His father actually owns the place. Family tradition, ya’ know.” Another round of shots came to our table. “Ah, Elsa baby. You know me to well. Keep the change.” Jose threw her a 10. “You stingy bastard. Who’s your friend?” She looked at me with a corky smile. “This right here is Jake. He’s a friend of Ben’s. Just flew down from New York this morning. Looking to show him a good time.” “Nice to meet you, Yankee! You came to the right place.” She looked up and nodded to the stage where I saw that a band had started setting up, “Gonna be a wild night boys!” Elsa walked towards another table. At this point I was feeling a little more then tipsy. I can’t remember the last time I had drank so much in a public place. The band started playing and within minutes the bar was roaring. Some blonde girl came up to Ben, and took him out on the dance floor. Everyone was moving. I couldn’t concentrate on anything around; it was so hard to take in. The only thing I could feel was a pressure on my bladder. “I gotta take a piss!” I yelled at Ben as I stumbled down the dark hallway. The bathroom was an equivalent to the front of the restaurant. It was dingy, and smelly, and I would have kicked my ass if someone were serving mints in there. I was dazed out in front of the urinal looking at the wall in front of me. There were Polaroid’s of people all over the wall. “La Fiesta” was written with marker above it. It was like an entire mural to the bar. Everyone must go here. I stepped out of the bathroom and onto the dance floor. I probably looked like the average white man dancing. Meaning, I probably looked like a dumbass. But what the hell. I was having a great time. I heard someone laugh to the left of me. It was a sweet giggle that seemed to echo across the roaring room, and right into my ear. I turned over to see her. Well, to see all three of her. What looked like a beautiful Latino girl. * * * * * * * * * *
“Hey!” I yelled. She kind of jumped back a few feet. “I ah saw you, see me. And I just wanted to let you know that I was seeing you too.” I tipped my glass towards her as I slurred my words. She kind of laughed at my lame excuse as a pick up line. “Oh what? Not good enough? Fine.” I walked over to the bar, slammed my wallet on the counter and ordered a drink for her. I smiled and gave her the Cosmo. “Does your eye always do that?” She asked me with a concerned look on her face. “The left one, I mean. It’s closed” Shit. I really was drunk. I hope this girl was just as hot when there is only one of her. “Hah, ah yeah. I guess I’m a little trashed.” “A little?” we shared a laugh. We continued talking to each other for about another half hour. She was calm, sweet. I enjoyed her company more then I thought I would. I felt good. Then all the sudden I felt a burley hand on my shoulder. The next thing I knew I was swung around to see a big buff Mexican man. “What do you think you’re doing talking to my woman!?” “You’re…err…I” Okay. So I’m drunk. I’m in a different country. And there’s a man and a woman arguing, about me, in a different language. Shit. “Hey, my brother, it’s cool. The lady and I were just talking.” I patted his shoulder, leaned back against the table and started drinking. I was so drunk that I thought I was just the hero of the situation. I thought I fixed everything. There was a white fence in their future! I was so drunk, that I didn’t even realize that I just got punched in the face. I fell on the floor. White fence in their future? Yeah, more like stars in mine. I opened my eyes to see the man and women bickering at my side. I could see Ben past out on a table near the band. He hadn’t even notice the little brawl. I started crawling backwards towards the door, praying that no one would see me, and my closed left eye. The breeze outside pulsed on my face once I turned the corner. I stumbled down the street as fast as I could. The noise echoed through the town, and the smell lingered through the heavy air. I had been walking for nearly twenty minutes now. Ten minutes into my journey however, I realized that I had absolutely no idea where I was. The apartments were shackled and a few stores lit open. I was trying hard to focus on the environment, but I was soon to be interrupted by the pulsing of my bladder, once again. I stopped at the first dark alley I could find. Pinning my aim on the dumpster, I reached for my zipper hoping no one was around. As soon as I started to do my business, I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a Mexican man in a police uniform. The Man looked at me as I finished my business. It seemed that neither of us knew what to say, He cleared his through, pointed to my right hand and said “Indecente exposure.” Again, the drunken side of me took lead. "Pff." I waved my hand as if to laugh at such an idea. Then, I looked behind him with a shocked expression. The officer spun around, gun in hand. So my dumbass self decided to run. That’s right; I decided to run in a town that I had never been in before thinking that maybe I could get rid of the cop. I turned into the first lit up store, and the officer ran right past me. I guess all the rumors about Mexican people are true, I scowled. There was no one at the counter, so I had decided to grab a few things that would help keep me through the night. A can of coke, a line of Mentos, and a bottle of Nyquil. I slipped everything in my pockets, and peaked out the door. The cop was gone? You have got to be kidding me. I slid out of the convenient store before the person at the counter had realized I had just stolen about ten dollars worth of goods. I was still blatantly impaired as I stumbled down the street. I could barely hold myself up at first, but now that I had a little extra weight, it seemed impossible. The alley got darker, and the roads started winding. I really had no idea where I was. I heard a whimper behind me, but I didn’t dare turn around. I could make out two voices. One was a girl, who sounded upset. The other was a male, and he has seemed disinterested. They must have seen me walk past because I heard them turn out of the alley and start behind me. I picked up my pace knowing that another encounter with a person probably wouldn’t be the best. The faster I walked, the faster they followed. “Ay, slow down.” The voice whispered just loud enough for me to hear. My head was pulsing, and I couldn’t concentrate. I started getting dizzier and even more light headed. To my right was what looked like a dark forest. Actually, it looked like there were about 12 of them. I took a hard right and my feet dug into the mud. “What are you doing? Get back here.” I heard it again, and I tried to pick up my pace. I was weaving in and out of trees, when suddenly I was stopped by a giant rock. I tripped over the boulder and the last thing I remember was the thud of my head, straight on the ground. * * * * * * * * * *
A breeze fell on me like a razorblade as the sunrise hit my eyelid. I rolled over, seeking comfort, and hoping that the throbbing in my head and the nausea in the stomach would stop. Unfortunately, I rolled over to just another thud, straight the floor. The change in environment had startled me, and I jumped up in confusion. Where the hell was I? How did I end up on a couch? And most importantly, where are all my clothes? I was sitting between a couch, and an old wooden coffee table which I was glad I didn’t hit with my head. There was an empty can of coke, and I must have downed my Nyquil earlier. Judging by the sun outside, it must have been going on 10 a.m. There was rustling upstairs. I heard an alarm sound, and feet shuffle. Shit. I jumped up, and headed for the wooden door in the corner realizing that I was in fact naked. There was a line drawn outside the door with clothes pinned on it, and I decided that this would be my best bet to get out of here at least semi-clothed. During my debating there was a creek on the staircase, and I turned to see a familiar looking man making his way down. “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” Without hesitating I ran through the door, ripped a pair off shorts of the line, and hopped into them as I slipped out of the house. The big man started chasing me, yelling for me to slow down. I wish I could remember him, I knew he looked familiar. Maybe he was that one chick’s boyfriend? Shit dude, I am totally screwed. I slipped into a convenient store where I ran into the sexy Latino girl. I couldn’t put a name on her face either. She giggled as she walked away. The sound of her voice struck a nerve, and I darted out of the store. “Elsa! Elsa!” I stumbled over a lifted piece of concrete and nearly fell on the brittle girl. “Whoa, whoa!” she yelped, “You really did have a crazy night.” “I don’t know what happened, I…I…just woke up, and my face hurts…and I had no clothes.” Elsa looked at me like I was retarded, “You really are a Yankee, aren’t you? Never knowing what you did the night before.” I sighed in relief. I was glad to see a familiar face. “Hey! Hey you!” I turned to see the Spanish man who was just chasing me down bent over in the street trying to catch his breath. “Shit! Elsa come on.” I grabbed Elsa by the arm and started running. The poor woman was practically being drug. “Jake! Cut it out!” She started screaming, but I was more concerned about the big man just behind us. “Stop it, stop it stop it!” She started swinging her arms at me and finally managed to pull me into an alley. “What the hell are you doing?!” “That man! I woke up in his house; he’s the guy that hit me. I know, I remember his face.” I started to panic. I knew the man was coming up around the corner. Elsa gave me that look again, you know, like I’m a dumbass. The big man turned the corner and looked at me. “I said,” He panted, “I ain’t…gonna…hurtchya!” Elsa went to the mans side and asked if he was okay. “Don’t you remember Carlos, Yankee?” The name sounded familiar, “He was the bartender last night.” “Shit man, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to run from you.” “Ay, I’d run from a man that could eat me too. You left this last night after the brawl.” He extended his hand and was holding my favorite brown leather wallet. At this point, I was one hundred times more pissed, and then I was confused. “Hey, hey, hey! My brother!” Ben walked towards us, “I couldn’t even find you last night.” I just looked at him. I was exhausted, I smelled like dog shit, and half of my face was the size of an antelope. “…What?” he asked. Before I could reach over and punch him in the face, another familiar face turned the corner. “Sir, I need you to come with me.” The officer took the handcuffs off his belt, and opened the door to the back seat. I couldn’t believe that this had just happened. I finally find out where I am, and then I get arrested for indecent exposure and refusing to cooperate? I looked out the cage window of the cop car at Ben who was holding a drink in one hand and holding his stomach in the other, as he bent over laughing. At this point, I could do nothing more then laugh with him. If this were to happen three days ago, I would be completely paranoid about the firm finding out. But now, all I can do is sit in this smelly cop car and laugh all the way towards the county holding cell. I could only think about yesterday morning when I asked Ben what did the firm every do to him. His simple reply now made sense; “The same thing those bastards are doing to you.” * * * * * * * * * *
I arrived at the holding cell and watched as they ran all my numbers. I found it kind of funny that I was happily sitting in this moldy chair. I felt relief, and freedom. The same relief and freedom that Ben told me about the day I arrived in Acapulco, Mexico. “Ay kid, you get a phone call.” The officer gave me a quarter, and pointed me towards the payphone. I thought for a minute about who I could call. My Mom? Ben? That hot chick from the bar? I put in all the digits and listened while the phone rang. “Hey, John? Yeah. This is Jake.” He greeted me, and asked how my trip was going. We shared a laugh or two when he had asked me why I was calling. A smile fell across my face, “I was just calling to tell you,” I hesitated for a moment, “John, I quit.” A silence fell onto the other line, followed by a screaming in my ear. “Don’t worry buddy!” I laughed, “I’ll clean my desk out Friday.” Click.
“Ay! Ay! Que Pasa? Slow down mi amigo, I aint gonna hurtchya!” You could almost hear the smile swipe across the big mans face. Three weeks ago my best friend, Ben Martinez, had convinced me that visiting a foreign country wouldn’t be as bad as I thought.
“C’mon Jake. Hot chicks, hot weather. You’ll have a blast man.”
This morning however, waking with a half empty bottle of Nyquil at my half-naked side in some broads’ basement made me realize that Ben had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.
Finally the smell of the burley Mexican had been replaced by the spicy cent of Mexican culture. I slid into the corner market reaching into my pocket for my favorite brown leather wallet, which surprisingly enough was just as missing as my recollection of last night.
Oh man, I’m going to be in so much shit. The thought whistled back and forth through my head, until I finally came to the conclusion that this trip couldn’t get much worse. I slipped an energy bar into my pocket, and slid down the convenience aisle. I tried to look as if I were interested in purchasing something, when my concentration was interrupted by the smell of sweet perfume.
“Hola papi” chuckled a tall Latino girl. She wore short jean shorts that kind of rippled at the end. Her tight burgundy tank-top revealed curves that any man would dream of. And finally, her golden brown hair swayed just below her breasts.
“Long night, eh?” Her seductive eyes lead me to the smirk on her face that was just as warm as her breath that spilled across my neck. Another laugh escaped her lips as her fingers grazed across my lower back. I could only stammer out some, “uh’s” and “dur’s” before the thought crossed my mind that maybe; just maybe, I should ask her what I did last night.
* * * * * * * * * *
“Attention all passengers, we have just touched down on the landing strip. Please remain seated until signaled. Thank you for flying Northwest, and enjoy your stay in Acapulco, Mexico!”
The intercom continued on in eight more unfamiliar languages as I stared out the window. Acapulco, Mexico. Never in a million years did I think I would end up here. Ben sure did now how to work me over. It’s been weeks, even months, since I took a day off of work. Meeting, after meeting, after meeting. Maybe he was right. Maybe I did just need some time to myself, time with other people.
I was standing in front of the luggage claim when I saw Ben.
“Hey, hey, hey! My brother!” He draped his sweaty arms around me, and gave me what seemed to be a bear hug. Man had he changed since I last seen him. His business type appearance had been easily replaced by cut up khaki’s, shaggy hair, and a raunchy, intolerable smell. Ben has been my best friend since grade school, and even if he reeked of garbage, Coors, and sweat, I was still happy to see him.
“Whew!” I held my nose and jumped back. “What were you crawling in, a sewer?”
Ben pinched the corner of his shirt and gave it a big whiff. He shrugged his shoulders as if to prove the smell doesn’t bother him anymore.
“More like a pile of trash, actually.” He laughed.
“Oh that’s right, you’re a garbage man now, eh?”
“I prefer the head concierge of waste.” He tilted his head up in thought.
I just laughed at him, “You know that makes absolutely no sense, right?”
“It may not make sense, but it sure as hell pays the bills.”
He made a point. Ben was a great worker at the firm. I had never seen a law student with his stamina and unique skill. Everyday he would out-shine the lawyers. It really made me wonder why Ben left in the first place.
We walked out of the airport into a huge musk of hot air. Acapulco had to be the most interesting place I had ever been. Down the streets set store of store of what seemed to be the same thing. People stood on corners in fancy outfits, dancing for a days pay. The market was roaring with costumers. Families tumbled out of the stores with saccharine fruits, vegetables, and what looked like the best tasting meat around.
The neighborhood seemed to change as we reached Ben’s apartment complex. There was less noise, and not so much a sense of happiness but a sense of misfortune.
* * * * * * * * * *
“This is it!” he said, “Home sweet home!” My luggage was thrown on the couch where I took recognition of the pillow and blanket that he had laid out for me. The place was literally disgusting. Empty beer cans were scattered throughout the living room, empty potato chip bags were on the coffee table. Well, the coffee table was more like a piece of plywood resting on two empty cartons. He sure did know how to improvise.
“Why’d you do it man?” I asked.
“You mean leave?”
“Yeah, I mean no offence; this is a great place and everything. Don’t you miss New York though? I mean seriously, you had the best pad on the north. I would have killed to be you.”
He stopped for a second, reminiscing about the past, “It wasn’t right man. The stress. The work. Always on the go. You never had time for yourself. Time to relax and take in the deep breath. To just…enjoy the view.”
“…The view?” I laughed looking around his shack of an apartment, “and what view exactly are you going to look at around here?”
He scratched his head, reached for a beer and flopped on the coach, “Don’t be jealous man.” He smirked behind his cold beer.
We sat and talked for another hour. It’s crazy how much someone can change due to his or her environment. He was right though; I could almost see the freedom in his eyes. He used to be so stressed out, so worried about impressing other people.
He asked about the old job and kind of scowled whenever I said anything positive.
“What’s your deal man? What did they ever do to you?” I asked rather irritated.
He just smiled, stood up and said, “The same thing those bastards are doing to you.” He walked into the kitchen and or living room leaving me on the couch. What did he mean? The same thing they’re doing to me? They aren’t doing anything but providing me with the best opportunities. He must be drunk already.
A flying sombrero, coming straight for my head, interrupted my thought. Ben laughed, “You ready to go party, or what?”
Laughing, we headed out the door and down the main strip heading straight towards a place he called, “LA FIESTAAAAA!” Literally. Every time he said it, he seemed compelled to scream it…right…in…my…ear.
* * * * * * * * * *
“Here we are man! LA FIESTAAAA-ow! Why the hell did you hit me?” He looked at me as if he was confused.
“Shut up.” I laughed.
I started walking into the run down shack that Ben, for some reason, couldn’t stop talking about since I arrived. It looked like it had been robbed, shot down, or at one point, was probably used as a crack house. The shutters on the top hung on only by a few nuts and bolts. The ‘E’ in the sign was blinking rapidly, and a giant sombrero hung diligently off the corner of the restaurant.
“Holy shit.” The words slipped out of my mouth. They were right; you really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.
The bar sat to my left. Bottles of liquor aligned the wall, and almost every stool was in use. The bartender was a big Mexican who mildly resembled Mr. Clean in an odd way. In the middle there were a bunch of tables. All the way to the back was a dance floor right in front of a stage. A jukebox sat to the left of a stage, and a lotto machine to the right. The restaurant went further back than I thought it would. Then I turned my head, 3 nice pool tables sat parallel to one another, all of them in use. It reeked of beef tacos and cigarette smoke, but I wasn’t complaining.
“Hey, my brother!” A sweaty muscular man grabbed Ben by the shoulders and hugged him. Alcohol had leaked through his skin and it was obvious that he was inebriated.
“Jose! This is my ol’ buddy Jake. Jake, Jose.” Jake introduced us.
The greasy looking man extended his arm for a shake, “Ay, this your first time here, boy? Hah! Are you in for a ride?”
I shook his hand and we all took a sit at a round wooden table near the pool area. Jose went around the bar and pointed everyone out.
“That over there is Carlos.” He waved to the bartender. “He’s just getting trained today. His father actually owns the place. Family tradition, ya’ know.”
Another round of shots came to our table.
“Ah, Elsa baby. You know me to well. Keep the change.” Jose threw her a 10.
“You stingy bastard. Who’s your friend?” She looked at me with a corky smile.
“This right here is Jake. He’s a friend of Ben’s. Just flew down from New York this morning. Looking to show him a good time.”
“Nice to meet you, Yankee! You came to the right place.” She looked up and nodded to the stage where I saw that a band had started setting up, “Gonna be a wild night boys!”
Elsa walked towards another table. At this point I was feeling a little more then tipsy. I can’t remember the last time I had drank so much in a public place.
The band started playing and within minutes the bar was roaring. Some blonde girl came up to Ben, and took him out on the dance floor. Everyone was moving. I couldn’t concentrate on anything around; it was so hard to take in. The only thing I could feel was a pressure on my bladder.
“I gotta take a piss!” I yelled at Ben as I stumbled down the dark hallway.
The bathroom was an equivalent to the front of the restaurant. It was dingy, and smelly, and I would have kicked my ass if someone were serving mints in there. I was dazed out in front of the urinal looking at the wall in front of me. There were Polaroid’s of people all over the wall. “La Fiesta” was written with marker above it. It was like an entire mural to the bar. Everyone must go here.
I stepped out of the bathroom and onto the dance floor. I probably looked like the average white man dancing. Meaning, I probably looked like a dumbass. But what the hell. I was having a great time. I heard someone laugh to the left of me. It was a sweet giggle that seemed to echo across the roaring room, and right into my ear. I turned over to see her. Well, to see all three of her. What looked like a beautiful Latino girl.
* * * * * * * * * *
“Hey!” I yelled. She kind of jumped back a few feet. “I ah saw you, see me. And I just wanted to let you know that I was seeing you too.” I tipped my glass towards her as I slurred my words.
She kind of laughed at my lame excuse as a pick up line.
“Oh what? Not good enough? Fine.” I walked over to the bar, slammed my wallet on the counter and ordered a drink for her. I smiled and gave her the Cosmo.
“Does your eye always do that?” She asked me with a concerned look on her face. “The left one, I mean. It’s closed”
Shit. I really was drunk. I hope this girl was just as hot when there is only one of her.
“Hah, ah yeah. I guess I’m a little trashed.”
“A little?” we shared a laugh.
We continued talking to each other for about another half hour. She was calm, sweet. I enjoyed her company more then I thought I would. I felt good. Then all the sudden I felt a burley hand on my shoulder. The next thing I knew I was swung around to see a big buff Mexican man.
“What do you think you’re doing talking to my woman!?”
“You’re…err…I”
Okay. So I’m drunk. I’m in a different country. And there’s a man and a woman arguing, about me, in a different language. Shit.
“Hey, my brother, it’s cool. The lady and I were just talking.” I patted his shoulder, leaned back against the table and started drinking. I was so drunk that I thought I was just the hero of the situation. I thought I fixed everything. There was a white fence in their future! I was so drunk, that I didn’t even realize that I just got punched in the face. I fell on the floor.
White fence in their future? Yeah, more like stars in mine. I opened my eyes to see the man and women bickering at my side. I could see Ben past out on a table near the band. He hadn’t even notice the little brawl.
I started crawling backwards towards the door, praying that no one would see me, and my closed left eye. The breeze outside pulsed on my face once I turned the corner. I stumbled down the street as fast as I could. The noise echoed through the town, and the smell lingered through the heavy air.
I had been walking for nearly twenty minutes now. Ten minutes into my journey however, I realized that I had absolutely no idea where I was. The apartments were shackled and a few stores lit open. I was trying hard to focus on the environment, but I was soon to be interrupted by the pulsing of my bladder, once again.
I stopped at the first dark alley I could find. Pinning my aim on the dumpster, I reached for my zipper hoping no one was around.
As soon as I started to do my business, I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a Mexican man in a police uniform. The Man looked at me as I finished my business. It seemed that neither of us knew what to say, He cleared his through, pointed to my right hand and said “Indecente exposure.”
Again, the drunken side of me took lead.
"Pff." I waved my hand as if to laugh at such an idea. Then, I looked behind him with a shocked expression. The officer spun around, gun in hand. So my dumbass self decided to run. That’s right; I decided to run in a town that I had never been in before thinking that maybe I could get rid of the cop.
I turned into the first lit up store, and the officer ran right past me. I guess all the rumors about Mexican people are true, I scowled. There was no one at the counter, so I had decided to grab a few things that would help keep me through the night.
A can of coke, a line of Mentos, and a bottle of Nyquil. I slipped everything in my pockets, and peaked out the door. The cop was gone? You have got to be kidding me.
I slid out of the convenient store before the person at the counter had realized I had just stolen about ten dollars worth of goods. I was still blatantly impaired as I stumbled down the street. I could barely hold myself up at first, but now that I had a little extra weight, it seemed impossible.
The alley got darker, and the roads started winding. I really had no idea where I was. I heard a whimper behind me, but I didn’t dare turn around. I could make out two voices. One was a girl, who sounded upset. The other was a male, and he has seemed disinterested. They must have seen me walk past because I heard them turn out of the alley and start behind me. I picked up my pace knowing that another encounter with a person probably wouldn’t be the best. The faster I walked, the faster they followed.
“Ay, slow down.” The voice whispered just loud enough for me to hear.
My head was pulsing, and I couldn’t concentrate. I started getting dizzier and even more light headed. To my right was what looked like a dark forest. Actually, it looked like there were about 12 of them. I took a hard right and my feet dug into the mud.
“What are you doing? Get back here.”
I heard it again, and I tried to pick up my pace. I was weaving in and out of trees, when suddenly I was stopped by a giant rock. I tripped over the boulder and the last thing I remember was the thud of my head, straight on the ground.
* * * * * * * * * *
A breeze fell on me like a razorblade as the sunrise hit my eyelid. I rolled over, seeking comfort, and hoping that the throbbing in my head and the nausea in the stomach would stop. Unfortunately, I rolled over to just another thud, straight the floor. The change in environment had startled me, and I jumped up in confusion.
Where the hell was I? How did I end up on a couch? And most importantly, where are all my clothes? I was sitting between a couch, and an old wooden coffee table which I was glad I didn’t hit with my head. There was an empty can of coke, and I must have downed my Nyquil earlier.
Judging by the sun outside, it must have been going on 10 a.m. There was rustling upstairs. I heard an alarm sound, and feet shuffle.
Shit.
I jumped up, and headed for the wooden door in the corner realizing that I was in fact naked. There was a line drawn outside the door with clothes pinned on it, and I decided that this would be my best bet to get out of here at least semi-clothed. During my debating there was a creek on the staircase, and I turned to see a familiar looking man making his way down.
“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?”
Without hesitating I ran through the door, ripped a pair off shorts of the line, and hopped into them as I slipped out of the house. The big man started chasing me, yelling for me to slow down. I wish I could remember him, I knew he looked familiar. Maybe he was that one chick’s boyfriend?
Shit dude, I am totally screwed.
I slipped into a convenient store where I ran into the sexy Latino girl. I couldn’t put a name on her face either. She giggled as she walked away. The sound of her voice struck a nerve, and I darted out of the store.
“Elsa! Elsa!” I stumbled over a lifted piece of concrete and nearly fell on the brittle girl.
“Whoa, whoa!” she yelped, “You really did have a crazy night.”
“I don’t know what happened, I…I…just woke up, and my face hurts…and I had no clothes.”
Elsa looked at me like I was retarded, “You really are a Yankee, aren’t you? Never knowing what you did the night before.”
I sighed in relief. I was glad to see a familiar face.
“Hey! Hey you!” I turned to see the Spanish man who was just chasing me down bent over in the street trying to catch his breath.
“Shit! Elsa come on.” I grabbed Elsa by the arm and started running. The poor woman was practically being drug.
“Jake! Cut it out!” She started screaming, but I was more concerned about the big man just behind us.
“Stop it, stop it stop it!” She started swinging her arms at me and finally managed to pull me into an alley.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
“That man! I woke up in his house; he’s the guy that hit me. I know, I remember his face.” I started to panic. I knew the man was coming up around the corner.
Elsa gave me that look again, you know, like I’m a dumbass. The big man turned the corner and looked at me.
“I said,” He panted, “I ain’t…gonna…hurtchya!”
Elsa went to the mans side and asked if he was okay.
“Don’t you remember Carlos, Yankee?” The name sounded familiar, “He was the bartender last night.”
“Shit man, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to run from you.”
“Ay, I’d run from a man that could eat me too. You left this last night after the brawl.” He extended his hand and was holding my favorite brown leather wallet.
At this point, I was one hundred times more pissed, and then I was confused.
“Hey, hey, hey! My brother!” Ben walked towards us, “I couldn’t even find you last night.”
I just looked at him. I was exhausted, I smelled like dog shit, and half of my face was the size of an antelope.
“…What?” he asked.
Before I could reach over and punch him in the face, another familiar face turned the corner.
“Sir, I need you to come with me.” The officer took the handcuffs off his belt, and opened the door to the back seat. I couldn’t believe that this had just happened. I finally find out where I am, and then I get arrested for indecent exposure and refusing to cooperate?
I looked out the cage window of the cop car at Ben who was holding a drink in one hand and holding his stomach in the other, as he bent over laughing. At this point, I could do nothing more then laugh with him. If this were to happen three days ago, I would be completely paranoid about the firm finding out. But now, all I can do is sit in this smelly cop car and laugh all the way towards the county holding cell. I could only think about yesterday morning when I asked Ben what did the firm every do to him. His simple reply now made sense;
“The same thing those bastards are doing to you.”
* * * * * * * * * *
I arrived at the holding cell and watched as they ran all my numbers. I found it kind of funny that I was happily sitting in this moldy chair. I felt relief, and freedom. The same relief and freedom that Ben told me about the day I arrived in Acapulco, Mexico.
“Ay kid, you get a phone call.”
The officer gave me a quarter, and pointed me towards the payphone. I thought for a minute about who I could call.
My Mom?
Ben?
That hot chick from the bar?
I put in all the digits and listened while the phone rang.
“Hey, John? Yeah. This is Jake.” He greeted me, and asked how my trip was going. We shared a laugh or two when he had asked me why I was calling. A smile fell across my face, “I was just calling to tell you,” I hesitated for a moment, “John, I quit.”
A silence fell onto the other line, followed by a screaming in my ear.
“Don’t worry buddy!” I laughed, “I’ll clean my desk out Friday.” Click.